I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
