last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
