i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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