FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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