Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
