Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
home. puking in laundry basket.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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