just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
