guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
