obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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