My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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