A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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