You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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