I could have mohawked her pubes.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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