I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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