I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
