she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize