Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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