why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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