I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize