Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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