I smell stomach acid.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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