Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Girls should come with a carfax report
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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