Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
