NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
