Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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