Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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