Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
