Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
