I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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