i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
