I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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