The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Randomize
