you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i think my mom watched the whole time
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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