he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
i've created a new STD.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
