how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
