I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
