yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
