Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
