Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Alive.
So much puke
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize