i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
