She's JV to your varsity
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
