Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
