you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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