If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You are a genius and a whore.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize