Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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