This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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