Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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