I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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