so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
