I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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