insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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