Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
PANTIES FOUND
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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