Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
