my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
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