your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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