Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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