the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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