And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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