Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
