That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
