Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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