then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
